Ballroom Culture: A glimpse into the underground community of Black queer expression
“It’s showing heterosexual people that above what everyday life is like for you, we can do it too”
“A beautifully magical place, where every queer person can find some sense of belonging,” is how Cookiee Von C, a 21-year-old Black trans woman, defines the tight-knit community of queer ballroom.
For many queer BIPOC individuals globally, the ballroom community is more than just putting on performances, and receiving prizes, it means having a sense of community and oftentimes forming a chosen family of those who share similar experiences.
“We can’t necessarily go back to our bio-families because not all of our families accept us,” said Von C, who has been a part of the community for more than three years.
For individuals like Von C, the community has provided her with more than just friendships, but what Von C refers to as literal family members, consisting of a gay dad and a gay mother. These parental figures have taken Von C under their wing and have given her guidance in navigating the world as a Black trans woman.
Von C has since taken it upon herself to become a mother to three individuals, to pass down her knowledge of ballroom, and the life that exists outside it.
“I have three kids- a trans daughter, and two gay sons- who I love absolutely dearly, who I provide advice to on a daily, [and] who I have opened up my home to when they were in times of need,” said Von C.
One of these children is Quest Telfar, a 23-year-old Black queer individual, who has benefited greatly from the guidance of Von C, as well as his “house,” which is comprised of chosen brothers and sisters he competes alongside at the balls.
“I can go to them and feel safe, and I can go to them and have people to confide in, and have conversations that I can't have with my actual family,” said Quest.
As a result of the never-ending support and guidance that Quest has received from this chosen family, mixed with his passionate and driven character, he has been granted many opportunities on a larger scale. Last summer, Quest had the opportunity to perform at Pride Toronto, and just recently at Mode Canada Rocks, a fashion music festival.
Kofi Telfar, a 20-year-old black queer individual, is a new addition to The House of Telfar and a brother figure to fellow house members like Quest.
“Being a part of the House of Telfar is probably the most I’ve ever felt like a family,” said Kofi.
After leaving his biological family at the age of 18, Kofi said that his house of chosen family members has given him a space to express himself to the fullest degree, while further exploring the realms of gender identity.
A ball consists of different categories or competitions, where individuals can showcase their strong suits. For example, someone who is a naturally gifted dancer would likely compete in the “performance” category, while someone with strong facial features, would excel in the “face” category.
In the “realness” category, transgender individuals are scored on how well they can pass as cisgender. Von C said that although these categories can be cutthroat, they prepare Black trans individuals for the struggles they will face in the real world.
“We don't leave room for a lot of trans people to walk out on the floor with their five o’clock shadow showing, or their tuck a little loose,” said Von C.
For individuals like Quest, he says that the confidence he has gained while walking the category “face,” has found its way into all facets of his life.
“Use the things you learn in ballroom in everyday life, and it will really change how you live,” said Quest.
Kofi, who regularly competes in the “performance” category, said that this category has helped him to find an escape from the white-dominated environment of the theatre community in which he is also involved.
“In the dance world, it's very heteronormative…but when I vogue, I can do whatever I want,” Kofi said laughingly.
The community of ballroom is constantly growing and evolving and individuals like Quest say they are overjoyed at the abundance of fresh faces and talents that are gracing the ballroom floors each week.
“I just want to keep seeing this flower grow, this flower bloom, and watch this garden get bigger and bigger and more colourful,” Quest said.
To get involved with the ballroom community in Toronto, please visit the TKBA website for information on upcoming local events and other resources.